wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I am naked and annoyed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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