I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
