he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
