so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
