His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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