Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
