I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
