That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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