if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it because I queefed?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
