just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I need moral support for this bender
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
