I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize