is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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