I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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