Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize