white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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