It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
