Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
