3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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