wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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