Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize