Where did you get a picture of my penis
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize