GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
