he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
