Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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