very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
