we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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