My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
they need to just BURY HIM!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my poor anus
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
