NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
