the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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