She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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