look no pants
My cat gives me a boner
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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