So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
