Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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