Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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