I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
