I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
