he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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