butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate all girls vehemently.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
