White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
