Pants 0. Shit 1.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
