Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
