I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
