Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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