I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
