Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I touched a dick in church today
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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