Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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