Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Congratulations! We have a period
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