Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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