oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
