what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
