We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
