I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
