he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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