There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize