It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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