I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
