The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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