Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
babies were throwing up all over the place
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
