she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
