Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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