dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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