This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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