I CAN MOONWALK!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
