Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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