The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
