No awkward lesbian experiences without me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
