lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
