apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
