check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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