We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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