I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
