i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize