My underwear smells like fireworks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
