remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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