You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
