Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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