I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize