I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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