May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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