I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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