franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize